True life, my kids say fantastic things.
One of the things I’d say has changed the most between my first and second year of teaching is my ability to relate to and laugh with my kids. I went from becoming frustrated and annoyed when they were constantly laughing and joking to participating along with them – drawing boundaries that allowed me to continue to control the class while still seeming like a human. This has resulted in the most hilarious moments of my teaching experience – the moments that make me want to keep teaching even when life is crazy, no one is listening, and I can’t believe my administrator just walked in the door.
Today’s post goes out to some of my incredibly perceptive, creative, and imaginative Advanced Bio students – N (boy), D (boy), F (girl), and C (boy).
“Is this Helvetica? Thank god. I judge teachers who use Comic Sans. It’s so…old. It’s like, really now, do you think I’d rather do your assignment because it’s in a “fun” font? It looks stupid, and I’m judging you.” – N, commenting on the assignment he picked up on the way in the door.
“This looks like something you’d watch if you were dying in a nursing home.” -D, about 30 seconds into watching the “It’s Alive!” scene in Frankenstein as an intro to the characteristics of life.
F: “Who desk is that? Mrs.B?” (my office has two desks in it)
Me: “No, it used to be Mr. V’s desk but he’s in the freshman academy now, so he’s not over here.”
F: “Oh, he SEXY. You should be talking to him.” (“talking to” is slang for flirting/trying to get with someone)
Me: “Well F, I don’t think that’s happening.”
F: “Why? Ms. S, you ain’t gettin’ any younger.”
Me: “Thanks F. But he’s married, and I happen to like his wife. They’re good together.”
F: “Dang Ms. S. I’ll keep lookin’ for ya.” – F, while waiting for me to print out all her missing assignments.
F: “Ms. S, what was your grandmom’s name?”
Me: “My grandmother’s name is Gloria, my great-grandmother’s name was Gladys”
F: “GLADYS?! Oh, that explains it all. You’ve GOT to have some black in you. White people would never name their kid Gladys.” – F, on my family heritage. She refused to believe that Gladys Balk was most certainly a 100% German white woman.
D: “I only act out when I’m hungry. Can I please have some m&ms? When I’m hungry I get all…rawr.”
Me: “Like a tiger?”
D: “Can I just have the m&ms?” – D, with whom I made a deal so he could earn some m&ms.
C: “Ms. S! Love of my life come here!” – C, calling me from across the room to answer his question.
N: “Boo! Can we get some help over here?”
Me: “I’m not your boo. What do you need?”
N: “Well boo, did you know that McDonalds has new popcorn chicken?”
Me: “You did not just call me over here to talk about popcorn chicken. I’ll help you when you’re done planning your lunch run.”
N: (as I’m walking away) “You want in on this? We’ll let you buy!”
Me: “Do your work. It turns into homework at 11:28 if you’re not done.”
F (after finding me logged into my personal twitter): “MS. S! You be cursing on twitter! And you be wishing for a snow day! (reads) ‘just looked outside. wtf, it snowed? #pleasekeepsnowing #snowday?’ I can’t believe it!”
Me (taking the iPad off her desk): “Yes F, I’m a real person. A real person who is really sick and would like to sleep. Until noon.”
While it’s possible that I’m the only one who finds these funny, it’s another moment where I need to keep them for posterity. I know that I’ll look back upon this year as a year of great change, as evidenced by the much larger gains being made by my students as well as my new found love of teaching and passion for education. I love these kids as well as my job, and the fact that I have less than 80 days left with my seniors is utterly mindblowing. So much more preparation to be done! They’re not ready for the real world yet – although they definitely “think they grown” already